My Readers are Smarter, More Talented, and More Attractive than Me (Reader Haiku)

(image: dailyzen.com)
It’s official.

1WineDude.com readers are smarter, funnier, more talented, and in all likelihood more attractive than I am. I say this because:

1. I am arguably an impish gnome with a half-baked palate trying to earn an honest living from near-constant drinking (curse you, Zane Lamprey – you stole my job!), and
2. I have received incontrovertible proof of how awesome 1WineDude.com readers are.

Long-time Dude friend and 1WineDude.com reader WillyBouy (a.k.a., WeeRee-San) has rewritten my twitter wine Mini-Reviews…

…As haiku! And they’re better than my original reviews! Just try this example on for size – let’s compare my original with WillyBouy’s reworked version:

Original:
`06 Sauvignon Republic Sauvignon Blanc (Russian River Valley): Just not into this wine. Citrus and tropical fruits, but what’s w/ the toast?

As haiku:
`06 Sauvignon Republic Sauvignon Blanc (Russian River Valley):
why does toast surprise
the citrus, tropical fruits?
Climbing out of here.

And my personal favorite –

Original:
’06 Misterio Malbec (Argentina):
Coats yer palate like smokey black fruit tar. A steal at $7

haiku:
’06 Misterio Malbec (Argentina):
palate is soothed
smokey black fruit tar
wallet is still fat!

Classic! Read on for more excellent haiku versions. Thanks, WillyBouy!


’05 Bracco Chianti Classico (Italy):
bracco soprano
still struggles to find her voice
– reduced, overpriced.

`06 Touraine Sauvignon La Pointe Domaine Ricard:
pink grapefruit grenade
launched from the valley loire
tingles the nose bright.

`05 La Crema Pinot Noir (Sonoma Coast, CA):
red berry hinting smoke
tasting great in the moment
is there a future?

’00 Ch. de Sales (Pomerol, Fr):
a mouse in the house
– supple velvety red fruit
leaves no worries.

’06 Misterio Malbec (Argentina):
palate is soothed
smokey black fruit tar
wallet is still fat!

`04 Quintessa Cab (Rutherford, CA):
fruit as black as night
finishing suburb complex
lay your money down.

`05 Bon Cap Cab Sav (Robertson, SA):
softly the blind feel
red currants dance free
– organic bliss now.

NV Perrier-Jouet Fleur de Chapagne (Epernay, Fr):
apple pear bubbles
burst in nose with toasty spice
– heart leaping joyous!

`05 Le Premier Pas Domaine Le Pas de l’Escalette (Cot. du Languedoc):
grapes of the south Rhone
– french red without the shackles
blend harmonious

`05 Banfi Centine (Tuscany, It):
burnt cherry sunrise
to sunset gently biting
– economico rosso.

Ratzenberger Spatburgunder `04 (Bacharacher, DE):
alcohol pools a
slowly drifting berry boat
nicely delicate

`03 Savigny-les-Beaune “Le Grands-Liards” Patrick Javillier-Guyot (Meursalt):
leather greets nicely
but calls out for fruit hidden
– prudence calls to me.

Aleveda Vinho Verde (Portugal):
drunk in the meadow
crispy spritzy citrus-y
pennies drop lightly.

Frog’s Leap `05 Napa Zin:
plum, blackberry yes
sweet toasted coconut hugs
vanilla oak, yum.

Opus One `98 (Oakville, CA):
a bad year undone
fruit, red and black, on oak
dear in all respects.

Twin Brook Cab. Franc (Pennsylvania):
wafting red berry
but tepid palate saddens
– all hope is lost now.

`05 Rosso Piceno Tourquis Brunori (Marche, It):
sangiovese
joins montepulciano
kicking me to smile.

`04 Domaine André Bonhomme Viré-Clessé (Burgundy):
bourgeosie madam
proletariat nightspot
– apricot, oak – class

NV Laurent-Perrier Grand Siècle (Champagne):
fresh baked almond bread
with honey triumphs – grace and strength
my spirits soaring.

’03 Castello Banfi Rosso di Montalcino (Italy):
pour, sniff, slurp – again
cherries and leather greet me
with a warm embrace.

’06 Lorenzino Ettore Germano Dolcetto d’Alba (Italy):
cherries, tobacco
sing out harmoniously
– could be livelier.

`05 Ravenswood Old Vines Zin (CA):
berry and spice nice
for the right amount of dough
haiku cannot rhyme

Cheers!