It’s been a while since we’ve done a giveaway, and so when I was contacted by Fibers.com to potentially partner up and give away one of their wine-themed t-shirts I couldn’t resist.
This is primarily because they combine wine with one of my closet indulgences: slogans so bad that they become fantastic. I’m not at all religious, but I’ve long been fascinated with the epically, awesomely terrible slogans posted on church billboards; they are just so heinously good (if that makes sense). For example, some gems that I’ve encountered during my driving travels:
“If you give the devil a ride, sooner or later he’s gonna want to drive.”
“God doesn’t want shares of your life; He wants controlling interest!”
“God answers ‘Knee Mail’”
That last one is sooooo wonderfully terrible!
Anyway, you’ve got a chance to win a free, customizable wine t-shirt from Fibers.com just by commenting on this here post! To maximize the fun (for me, anyway!), to become eligible you need only comment here with your favorite terribly awesome wine slogan. Ideally, you’ll come up with puns as wonderfully bad as the ones those churches are able to churn out, only wine-related.
I’m thinking along the lines of “Making good wine is a skill; making fine wine is an art; unless your name is Rudy Kurniawan, in which case it’s probably a federal offense!” or “I once had budding career in wine growing, but the bad economy green-harvested it.” You gotta admit, those are so bad that they could become endearing… anyway…
In one week I will randomly select a winner from the commenters, and contact them via email with the details on how to claim their Tee.
So get commentin’ and show off your creative side!
Cheers – and good luck!
In this special weekend edition of 1WineDude.com, I have some epically gargantuanly stunningly-hyphenated-made-up-adverbially BIG news to share with you all.
Steve Heimoff, of Wine Enthusiast Magazine (not sure if it’s the English or Mandarin version… but sh*t, I’d better find that out REAL soon) are SWAPPING GIGS.
Yes, ou’re reading that correctly. Steve Heimoff will now be writing the Wined Down With Joe Roberts column on Playboy.com, and I will be taking over Steve’s California wine beat for Wine Enthusiast.
As part of the move, Steve and I will also be swapping blogs, and so you will find Steve writing about writing about writing about wine here, and over at Steve’s website I will be penning my normal shot-from-the-hip missives about the wine world that actually sound like they were, indeed, shot by something and then left to rot.
I wanted you al to be the first to know. Only you’re not really the first to know… there were, like seventeen lawyers who knew before you did, and then there’s the editorial staff at WE and Playboy.com, and around eight or so of Steve’s neighbors in Oakland, who all knew before you did. But you’re, like, the thirty-fifth person to know and that’s meaningful to Steve and I, because I was 35 years maybe when Steve and I first met. Look, just go with it, okay?
I realize that this will come as a great shock to many of you, so it’s important that you understand the rationale behind this joint decision by Steve and me:
- Talent: Steve and I are writers who can distinguish between when it is and is not grammatically correct to use the phrase “Steve and me.”
- Work-Life Balance: We figured it would take a while before either WE or Playboy.com noticed, since we both like to work remotely.
- Because We Can: We’re both, like, super-important in the wine blog world and this is, in fact, a childish attempt by both of us to lord our power over the minions.
- Intangibles: We’re about the same height.
- For The Good of the Land: Steve is less dangerous for the Playboy Playmates, and I’m less dangerous for Wine Enthusiast.
See you over at SteveHeimoff.com, people!
Cheers – and check your calendars!
p.s. – Mad, mad love, respect & appreciation to Steve, who had no idea I was doing this but I strongly suspect will take it with good humor (what’s Mandarin for “humor”?).