Show Off Your Terribly Awesome Wine Slogan For A Chance To Win A Wine Tee From!

Vinted on April 3, 2012 binned in giveaways

It’s been a while since we’ve done a giveaway, and so when I was contacted by to potentially partner up and give away one of their wine-themed t-shirts I couldn’t resist.

This is primarily because they combine wine with one of my closet indulgences: slogans so bad that they become fantastic. I’m not at all religious, but I’ve long been fascinated with the epically, awesomely terrible slogans posted on church billboards; they are just so heinously good (if that makes sense). For example, some gems that I’ve encountered during my driving travels:

“If you give the devil a ride, sooner or later he’s gonna want to drive.”

“God doesn’t want shares of your life; He wants controlling interest!”

“God answers ‘Knee Mail’”

That last one is sooooo wonderfully terrible!

Anyway, you’ve got a chance to win a free, customizable wine t-shirt from just by commenting on this here post! To maximize the fun (for me, anyway!), to become eligible you need only comment here with your favorite terribly awesome wine slogan. Ideally, you’ll come up with puns as wonderfully bad as the ones those churches are able to churn out, only wine-related.

I’m thinking along the lines of “Making good wine is a skill; making fine wine is an art; unless your name is Rudy Kurniawan, in which case it’s probably a federal offense!” or “I once had budding career in wine growing, but the bad economy green-harvested it.” You gotta admit, those are so bad that they could become endearing… anyway…

In one week I will randomly select a winner from the commenters, and contact them via email with the details on how to claim their Tee.

So get commentin’ and show off your creative side!

Cheers – and good luck!





  • @Sedimentblog

    Life is a Cabernet, old chum…

    • 1WineDude

      @Sedimentblog – ah, the old classic…

      • @Sedimentblog

        WE'RE old classics!!

        • 1WineDude

          Tru dat, @Sedimentblog

  • Myles

    Save Water, Drink Wine

    • 1WineDude

      Thanks, Myles!

  • Jeff

    I'm Never Late to Taste Good Grape

    • 1WineDude

      Jeff – ohhhhhh, I like that!

  • SAHMmelier

    Pop a Cork and Breathe

    • 1WineDude

      Thanks, SAHMmelier!

  • Jeff

    On another note – the most poplular wine in New York: "You never take me to Florida!"

    • 1WineDude

      Jeff – I think you mean "whine?" ;-)

  • Jade

    Jesus drank water and wine. Amen.

    • 1WineDude

      Jade – Amen! :)

  • tcat

    Instead of complaining, just WINE

    • 1WineDude

      tcat – HA!!! Good one…

  • MyrddinGwin

    After wining, I feel grape!

    • 1WineDude

      MyrddinGwin – ugh! groaner! It's perfect!!! :)

  • Christine

    Juicy, exotic and sultry…..I meant the wine!

    • 1WineDude

      Christine – good one.

  • Joel Ohmart

    Dionysus, god of wine, give me courage reinforce my spine!

    • 1WineDude

      Joel – ha!!

  • Melissa C.

    A bottle a day helps to stave away the grapes of wrath

    • 1WineDude

      NIce one, Melissa!

  • Joel Ohmart

    Very nice!

  • Simon Rush

    I drink therefore I am – Descartes

    • 1WineDude

      Simon – quite philosophically minded of you!

  • @eatandrun

    It's Wine O'Clock somewhere!

    • 1WineDude

      Thanks, @eatandrun – that one is a groaner classic, but I certainly have used it (same with "beer-thirty" :-).

  • Paul Moe

    Overheard in Biloxi: "They make some really good red Burgundies over there from that 'pin it in your ear' grape"

    • 1WineDude

      Paul – HA!!

  • M G Callahan

    oenophiles unite

    • 1WineDude

      M G Callahan – especially when they’ve got bottles in tow! :)

  • Marsala Wine

    Wine. Now there's a temporary solution.

    • 1WineDude

      Marsala – HA! Love it.

  • Larry hanceje

    Cork Blocked

    • 1WineDude

      Larry – that one might also need a graphic… :)

  • Aussie Wine Chick

    This one's "borrowed" but good fun: Wine – now cheaper than gas. Drink. Don't drive.

    • 1WineDude

      Thanks, Aussie!

  • WenWAWino

    If you must drink, call a cab(ernet)

    • 1WineDude

      WenWAWino – HA!!!

  • melisa chappell

    And we used to do a lot of drugs and get very drunk on very cheap wine by santiago Durango

    • 1WineDude

      melisa – is that Hemingway? EPIC!!!

  • mary chappell

    Drunkenness is temporary suicide: the happiness that it brings is merely negative, a momentary cessation of unhappiness

    • 1WineDude

      mary – okay that is kind of a downer… :)

  • Don

    I'll get around to it wine it pleases me.

    • 1WineDude

      Don – ba-dum-DUM! :)

  • GrapesRGreat

    All beer and no wine make Jack a dull boy.

  • GrapesRGreat

    Or how about – "Wine – The Ultimate 'Stimulus' Plan"

  • 1WineDude

    Thanks, all – keep 'em coming!

  • WenWAWino

    What a wine-derful world!


    It's a wine-derful life!

    • 1WineDude

      @WenWAWino – okay, those are terrible. I love them.

  • Scott

    wine me…..dine me……** me!

    • 1WineDude

      Scott – finally the Playboy influence here rears its head! :)

  • Suzanne

    Rise and wine!

    • 1WineDude

      Thanks, Suzanne!

  • Elise

    This is Champagne-specific but pretty trashy:

    Champagne is like a lover. He may not be my first choice but I'm not gonna kick 'im outta bed!

    • 1WineDude

      Elise – It might be my first choice actually! :)

      • Elise

        Agree but only certain champagnes. There are definitely wines that would get kicked out of bed – Yellow Tail anyone? – but probably even the most average champagne would still make the cut. Talk to me about good grower champagne though and it's a whole other story!

        • 1WineDude

          Elise – +1 on the Grower Champers!

  • Fred

    "Sutter Home Wines. Taste the Commitment." Oy.

    • 1WineDude

      Fred – ooookaaaaayy…..

    • 1WineDude

      I should add something here: I am not dissing on Sutter Home, I am just dissing on that terrible slogan!

  • harvey posert

    Bumper sticker seen in California:

    Values you can believe in!

    (Disclosure: I do Bronco PR.)

    • 1WineDude

      harvey – HA!!!

  • Dan G

    Round is a shape just ask a grape!

    • 1WineDude

      Dan – HA! Sesame Street? :)

  • April

    Be like wine and chill

    • 1WineDude

      Thanks, April!

  • Bradley

    I like my wine like I like my women –
    dark, luscious and all over my lap while I'm driving.

    • 1WineDude

      Bradley – in my experience, the best kind of car in which to do that is… someone else's!

  • Mark F

    All I do is wine wine wine!

  • Mark F

    One did one grape say to the other grape?
    "Does my skin make me look tannic?"

    ~I made this up I promise (if it is an actual joke that is completely coincidental)

    • 1WineDude

      Mark – HA!!

  • kim B.

    Quit wining and pour me some MEAD! (meadmaker here!)

    • 1WineDude

      kim – HA! Awesome!

  • Renee Vimmerstedt

    Wine Tasting..where spitting is just as good as swallowing

    • 1WineDude

      Renee – HA!!!!

      • Renee Vimmerstedt

        I may have to get that shirt made regardless… lol

        • 1WineDude

          It would be criminal if you didn’t! :)

  • Lorrie S. LeBeaux

    Wine is a Lifestyle that chooses you, then you Marry… Lorrie S. LeBeaux

    • 1WineDude

      Lorrie – and then you pay taxes…

  • 1WineDude

    Aaaaaand we have a randomly-selected winner! WenWAWino's comment was picked by the random number generator – congrats, WenWAWino (sending you an email to confirm your winnings)!

    Thanks again to everyone for the great comments!

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