It’s been a while since we’ve done a giveaway, and so when I was contacted by Fibers.com to potentially partner up and give away one of their wine-themed t-shirts I couldn’t resist.
This is primarily because they combine wine with one of my closet indulgences: slogans so bad that they become fantastic. I’m not at all religious, but I’ve long been fascinated with the epically, awesomely terrible slogans posted on church billboards; they are just so heinously good (if that makes sense). For example, some gems that I’ve encountered during my driving travels:
“If you give the devil a ride, sooner or later he’s gonna want to drive.”
“God doesn’t want shares of your life; He wants controlling interest!”
“God answers ‘Knee Mail’”
That last one is sooooo wonderfully terrible!
Anyway, you’ve got a chance to win a free, customizable wine t-shirt from Fibers.com just by commenting on this here post! To maximize the fun (for me, anyway!), to become eligible you need only comment here with your favorite terribly awesome wine slogan. Ideally, you’ll come up with puns as wonderfully bad as the ones those churches are able to churn out, only wine-related.
I’m thinking along the lines of “Making good wine is a skill; making fine wine is an art; unless your name is Rudy Kurniawan, in which case it’s probably a federal offense!” or “I once had budding career in wine growing, but the bad economy green-harvested it.” You gotta admit, those are so bad that they could become endearing… anyway…
In one week I will randomly select a winner from the commenters, and contact them via email with the details on how to claim their Tee.
So get commentin’ and show off your creative side!
Cheers – and good luck!
Comments
@Sedimentblog
Life is a Cabernet, old chum…
1WineDude
@Sedimentblog – ah, the old classic…
@Sedimentblog
WE'RE old classics!!
1WineDude
Tru dat, @Sedimentblog
Myles
Save Water, Drink Wine
1WineDude
Thanks, Myles!
Jeff
I'm Never Late to Taste Good Grape
1WineDude
Jeff – ohhhhhh, I like that!
SAHMmelier
Pop a Cork and Breathe
1WineDude
Thanks, SAHMmelier!
Jeff
On another note – the most poplular wine in New York: "You never take me to Florida!"
1WineDude
Jeff – I think you mean "whine?" ;-)
Jade
Jesus drank water and wine. Amen.
1WineDude
Jade – Amen! :)
tcat
Instead of complaining, just WINE
1WineDude
tcat – HA!!! Good one…
MyrddinGwin
After wining, I feel grape!
1WineDude
MyrddinGwin – ugh! groaner! It's perfect!!! :)
Christine
Juicy, exotic and sultry…..I meant the wine!
1WineDude
Christine – good one.
Joel Ohmart
Dionysus, god of wine, give me courage reinforce my spine!
1WineDude
Joel – ha!!
Melissa C.
A bottle a day helps to stave away the grapes of wrath
1WineDude
NIce one, Melissa!
Joel Ohmart
Very nice!
Simon Rush
I drink therefore I am – Descartes
1WineDude
Simon – quite philosophically minded of you!
@eatandrun
It's Wine O'Clock somewhere!
1WineDude
Thanks, @eatandrun – that one is a groaner classic, but I certainly have used it (same with "beer-thirty" :-).
Paul Moe
Overheard in Biloxi: "They make some really good red Burgundies over there from that 'pin it in your ear' grape"
1WineDude
Paul – HA!!
M G Callahan
oenophiles unite
1WineDude
M G Callahan – especially when they’ve got bottles in tow! :)
Marsala Wine
Wine. Now there's a temporary solution.
1WineDude
Marsala – HA! Love it.
Larry hanceje
Cork Blocked
1WineDude
Larry – that one might also need a graphic… :)
Aussie Wine Chick
This one's "borrowed" but good fun: Wine – now cheaper than gas. Drink. Don't drive.
1WineDude
Thanks, Aussie!
WenWAWino
If you must drink, call a cab(ernet)
1WineDude
WenWAWino – HA!!!
melisa chappell
And we used to do a lot of drugs and get very drunk on very cheap wine by santiago Durango
1WineDude
melisa – is that Hemingway? EPIC!!!
mary chappell
Drunkenness is temporary suicide: the happiness that it brings is merely negative, a momentary cessation of unhappiness
1WineDude
mary – okay that is kind of a downer… :)
Don
I'll get around to it wine it pleases me.
1WineDude
Don – ba-dum-DUM! :)
GrapesRGreat
All beer and no wine make Jack a dull boy.
GrapesRGreat
Or how about – "Wine – The Ultimate 'Stimulus' Plan"
1WineDude
Thanks, all – keep 'em coming!
WenWAWino
What a wine-derful world!
or
It's a wine-derful life!
1WineDude
@WenWAWino – okay, those are terrible. I love them.
Scott
wine me…..dine me……** me!
1WineDude
Scott – finally the Playboy influence here rears its head! :)
Suzanne
Rise and wine!
1WineDude
Thanks, Suzanne!
Elise
This is Champagne-specific but pretty trashy:
Champagne is like a lover. He may not be my first choice but I'm not gonna kick 'im outta bed!
1WineDude
Elise – It might be my first choice actually! :)
Elise
Agree but only certain champagnes. There are definitely wines that would get kicked out of bed – Yellow Tail anyone? – but probably even the most average champagne would still make the cut. Talk to me about good grower champagne though and it's a whole other story!
1WineDude
Elise – +1 on the Grower Champers!
Fred
"Sutter Home Wines. Taste the Commitment." Oy.
1WineDude
Fred – ooookaaaaayy…..
1WineDude
I should add something here: I am not dissing on Sutter Home, I am just dissing on that terrible slogan!
harvey posert
Bumper sticker seen in California:
CHARLES SHAW FOR PRESIDENT
Values you can believe in!
(Disclosure: I do Bronco PR.)
1WineDude
harvey – HA!!!
Dan G
Round is a shape just ask a grape!
1WineDude
Dan – HA! Sesame Street? :)
April
Be like wine and chill
1WineDude
Thanks, April!
Bradley
I like my wine like I like my women –
dark, luscious and all over my lap while I'm driving.
1WineDude
Bradley – in my experience, the best kind of car in which to do that is… someone else's!
Mark F
All I do is wine wine wine!
Mark F
One did one grape say to the other grape?
"Does my skin make me look tannic?"
~I made this up I promise (if it is an actual joke that is completely coincidental)
1WineDude
Mark – HA!!
kim B.
Quit wining and pour me some MEAD! (meadmaker here!)
1WineDude
kim – HA! Awesome!
Renee Vimmerstedt
Wine Tasting..where spitting is just as good as swallowing
1WineDude
Renee – HA!!!!
Renee Vimmerstedt
I may have to get that shirt made regardless… lol
1WineDude
It would be criminal if you didn’t! :)
Lorrie S. LeBeaux
Wine is a Lifestyle that chooses you, then you Marry… Lorrie S. LeBeaux
1WineDude
Lorrie – and then you pay taxes…
1WineDude
Aaaaaand we have a randomly-selected winner! WenWAWino's comment was picked by the random number generator – congrats, WenWAWino (sending you an email to confirm your winnings)!
Thanks again to everyone for the great comments!