1 Wine Dude

A Serious Wine Blog For the Not-So-Serious Drinker

Menu
  • Home
  • About
    • New? Start Here!
    • PR & Samples
    • Press & What-Have-You
  • Wine
    • by badge
      • crowd pleaser
      • elegant
      • kick-ass
      • overachiever
      • sexy
    • Full Reviews
    • Mini-Reviews
  • Stalk
    • facebook
    • LinkedIn
    • Instagram
    • News Break
    • pinterest
    • twitter
    • YouTube
  • Sign Up
  • Books
  • Services
  • Contact
Menu
1 Wine Dude
Featured Image Default

Robert Parker, Wine Advocate Apologize For “Boorish, Bullying” Behavior4 min read

Posted on April 1, 2014March 31, 2014 by 1WineDude

in Inebriated Press

Inebriated Press

In a stunning reversal of unwritten policy, the wine industry’s most powerful critic, Robert M. Parker, Jr.  and his fellow staff members at the publication he founded, The Wine Advocate, held a press conference earlier today to “apologize for our recent boorish, bullying behavior.”

“We at The Wine Advocate have, in short, been terribly, terribly wrong in our actions,” admitted Parker to a packed crowd of seven wine industry veterans gathered near his home in Monkton, Maryland. “My god, our behavior has been so infantile and vile that I don’t even know where to start, quite frankly. Oh, are those cookies over there? Could someone pass those?”

Parker began by extending a virtual vinous olive branch to Jon Bonne and Eric Asimov, wine writers for the San Francisco Chronicle and New York Times, respectively. Both men were publicly derided by Parker as unprofessional in a post in the online bulletin board of Parker’s website. “Really, that was totally uncalled for, and bitingly ironic considering that only a few days before I had, in their presence, publicly called for more civility among wine writers. I mean, dang, I’m making the whole profession look like a bunch of douchebags when I do things like that!” He then slammed his open right palm into his forehead, temporarily shaking the stage and causing microphone feedback that delayed the remainder of the press conference for several minutes. The normally recalcitrant Parker had been referring to statements he made as the keynote speaker at a wine writers conference, given only a short time before his remarks about Bonne and Asimov, both of whom were in the audience during Parker’s keynote address.

Parker was followed by several The Wine Advocate staff writers and critics in offering public apologies, including Master of Wine Lisa Perrotti-Brown, who referred to her mis-identification and lambasting of Bonne’s and Asimov’s “new California wines” session at the 2014 Professional Wine Writers Symposium in Napa, California (in which she mistakenly referred to wines that weren’t actually poured during the session) a “real fuck-up.” On the bulletin board, Perrotti-Brown called the wines “vaguely interesting,” “neutral,” “dilute,” and “flavorless, without vibrancy and texture, not unlike most of wine writing itself these days.”

“Well, what can I say, I just balled that up big time,” she told reporters and industry insiders…

“I mean, I posted that on the internet, right? And, well, if I had access to the internet, I could have just looked up the wines that were poured instead of guessing them, or maybe fact-checked it with Asimov or Bonne before I posted.” In her update, Perrotti-Brown told bulletin board readers that sub-par Cabernet Franc and Pinot Grigio wines had been poured, when in fact those varieties did not make up any of the wines on offer during the session, which Parker criticized without having attended himself. She also remarked that TWA would be withdrawing its legal actions taken against blogger Tyler Colman, a long-time Parker critic who first published details of the bizarre online exchange, which originally appeared behind a “pay-wall.”

The Wine Advocate’s Jeb Dunnuck also took the podium to offer apologies to “the world’s wine bloggers, who, after all, are the talented and budding future of our profession.” Dunnuck revealed that he “was having some sleepless nights” after calling one American wine blogger “a dick” via social media outlet Twitter. “Just… Romper Room, fourth-grader, stupid shit on my part,” Dunneck concluded. “Bloggers are an important part of the wine writing and critic ecosystem, and their efforts should be encouraged, because they help keep the space transparent and help focus us on living up to the high standards we set for ourselves as some of the hardest-working people in wine. And while we do set a high bar for work ethic, we at TWA need to stop pretending that alone gives us carte blanche to forgo the high road when someone criticizes us. And man, I could really go for a low-acid red right now!”

In closing remarks, Parker again called for another cease-fire in the ongoing war of words between wine writers, a group rife with factions that regularly speak out against – and at odds with – one another. He indicated that, as “a gesture of good faith,” he was looking forward to enjoying “some interesting orange wines” with his “new friend,” longtime Parker critic Alice Fiering.

Reaction to the event was mixed. While some praised the wine world’s preeminent critic and The Wine Advocate staff members for apparently ending their internecine battles with other Wine writers, other attendees expressed doubt about the sincerity of the apologies.

When asked for comments after the session, wine blogger Joe Roberts, who attended because he “was based relatively close by in Philly, and found myself surprisingly sober enough to drive today” was particularly acerbic, and remarked that he “didn’t believe a word” of the seemingly heartfelt mea culpa by Parker and his staff.

“Ok,” remarked Roberts, “we know how this story ends, because we’ve seen it before. On his way home from here, Parker will probably tweet that bloggers are a bunch of assholes, and then they’ll all get in a tizzy because he didn’t live up to his elder wine writer statesman status, which is stupid to get upset about anyway since by now that’s about as surprising as the sun rising in the east, and as obvious as pointing out that George Lucas has a neck beard. Hey, do you know if they’re serving any wine after this? ‘Cuz if not, I am totally out of here…”

[ Editor’s note: none of the above actually took place, except in a pretty screwed up dream I had recently… ]

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • More
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)

Related

22 thoughts on “Robert Parker, Wine Advocate Apologize For “Boorish, Bullying” Behavior4 min read”

  1. The Drunken Cyclist says:
    April 1, 2014 at 9:59 am

    I admire you for trying to create a scenario that was actually more absurd than the actual chain of events. You succeeded, but only barely….

    1. 1WineDude says:
      April 1, 2014 at 10:45 am

      TDC – welcome to parody!

  2. chicagopinot says:
    April 1, 2014 at 10:13 am

    Did he say anything about Bridgegate? Seriously, having one of your peeps order an important bridge closed for three days and then covering it up bothers me a little more than sniping with some wine critics!

    1. 1WineDude says:
      April 1, 2014 at 10:45 am

      chicago – ha!!

  3. Carl Helrich says:
    April 1, 2014 at 10:15 am

    Fuckin' brilliant!

    1. 1WineDude says:
      April 1, 2014 at 10:42 am

      :-)

  4. talkavino says:
    April 1, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    Excellent work, Joe – almost believable – I think you slightly blew it with the "packed crowd of seven" : )

    1. 1WineDude says:
      April 1, 2014 at 1:36 pm

      talkavino :)

      Well, for legal protection purposes, I thought it best to make the intention a little obvious early, just in case…

      1. talkavino says:
        April 1, 2014 at 1:43 pm

        yes, very sad. Now you have to remember about legal protection even when mentioning Parker's name…

  5. 1WineDude says:
    April 1, 2014 at 1:38 pm

    I should note that this little attempt at parody probably "works" because a) we'd never expect TWA staff to apologize and b) the actions cited on their part are almost all actual events. So in terms of being on the parody side, it kind of writes itself, and I juts happened to be the one to channel it into something hopefully funny and also somewhat sad (in terms of commentary on the wine writing space) at the same time.

  6. Sommeliere says:
    April 1, 2014 at 1:57 pm

    I really needed a laugh and you gave me one!

    1. 1WineDude says:
      April 1, 2014 at 2:02 pm

      Sommeliere – and now you need a drink!

  7. Paul Moe says:
    April 1, 2014 at 3:34 pm

    So, do we care what Ron Washam, HMW, says?

    1. 1WineDude says:
      April 1, 2014 at 5:07 pm

      Paul – No to Ron, but YES to HMW! :)

  8. MC, Cellar Angels says:
    April 2, 2014 at 9:32 am

    You may owe Romper Room an apology for the loose association with Dunnuck. :-) If only this were the post May 1. Well done!

    1. 1WineDude says:
      April 2, 2014 at 9:35 am

      Thanks, MC. I hereby apologize to Romper Room for dragging them into this mess…

  9. Alan Goldfarb says:
    April 2, 2014 at 11:47 am

    Later today I'll be calling Alice because I'm so anxious to hear of her experiences with RP.

    1. 1WineDude says:
      April 2, 2014 at 12:29 pm

      Please let us know how it went, Alan… ;-)

  10. Bill says:
    April 2, 2014 at 1:17 pm

    I love that you were able to weave in the word douchebag into this post.

    1. 1WineDude says:
      April 2, 2014 at 1:27 pm

      Thanks, Bill. I'm now wondering how often you read here, since that word isn't uncommon for me… ;-)

  11. Randy Caparoso says:
    April 2, 2014 at 2:54 pm

    You had me going, Joe, since I was reading it the day after April Fool's (no fair)… but the point is well taken. Why can't you bloggers get along? Of course, I blog, and I do admit being a little harsh on the 100-point bloggers… it takes a lot to restrain yourself when you see wine reporting done so irresponsibly (that is, for me, detrimental to readers and consumers' perceptions)…

    1. 1WineDude says:
      April 2, 2014 at 3:06 pm

      Randy, yeah… why can't we all realize that when we in wine (not just bloggers) act in a childish way it makes us all look bad to the world outside of wine? Who knows…

Comments are closed.

Dude’s New Books

Wine Taster's Guide Now Available!

“Bravo! Wine Taster's Guide is a perfect primer for both wine novices and learning enthusiasts." ―Evan Goldstein, Master Sommelier

Wine Taster's Journal Now Available!

"Wine Taster's Journal belongs in everyone's cellar… preferably wine-stained, dog-eared, and well-used.” ―Brian Freedman, wine/spirits/travel columnist

Get Some Wine


Vivino 15% Off Code: 2021NEW15 (1st Time Buyer)

Popular Stuff

  • Wine Reviews: Weekly Mini Round-Up for February 22, 2021
    Wine Reviews: Weekly Mini Round-Up for February 22, 2021
  • Wine In the Time of Coronavirus, Part 34: Make Wine Like a Girl (Women Run the Show at Benzinger & Imagery)
    Wine In the Time of Coronavirus, Part 34: Make Wine Like a Girl (Women Run the Show at Benzinger & Imagery)
  • Bitterness in White Wines (No... Really!)
    Bitterness in White Wines (No... Really!)
  • Are “Bin End” Wines Really A Good Deal? How To Avoid Getting Tebow-ed At The Bin
    Are “Bin End” Wines Really A Good Deal? How To Avoid Getting Tebow-ed At The Bin
  • CSW Exam Don'ts
    CSW Exam Don'ts

About + Contact

Joe Roberts

Joe Roberts

Certified Specialist of Wine & WSET Advanced
Author, speaker, consultant, wine judge, & critic.

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • RSS Feed

Find Stuff

Sign up, lushes!

Join 36,559 other subscribers

Fine Print

This site is licensed under Creative Commons.

Code of Ethics and Privacy Policies.

Play nice!

Get The Guide

Wine Tasters Guide Footer
#1 New Release in Amazon's Wine Tasting category
This site uses cookies. Duh. Cookie Policy
©2021 1 Wine Dude
Yo yo YO!

Wine Tasters Guide InstagramWell, hello there!

If you like what you’re reading (and want to like more of what you’re drinking), consider subscribing.

If you’re up for a more immersive wine learning experience, check out my books and other services.

Cheers!

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.