My Readers are Smarter, More Talented, and More Attractive than Me (Reader Haiku)

Vinted on February 21, 2008 binned in wine blogging, wine review, zen wine

(image: dailyzen.com)
It’s official.

1WineDude.com readers are smarter, funnier, more talented, and in all likelihood more attractive than I am. I say this because:

  1. I am arguably an impish gnome with a half-baked palate trying to earn an honest living from near-constant drinking (curse you, Zane Lamprey – you stole my job!), and
  2. I have received incontrovertible proof of how awesome 1WineDude.com readers are.

Long-time Dude friend and 1WineDude.com reader WillyBouy (a.k.a., WeeRee-San) has rewritten my twitter wine Mini-Reviews

…As haiku! And they’re better than my original reviews! Just try this example on for size – let’s compare my original with WillyBouy’s reworked version:

Original:
`06 Sauvignon Republic Sauvignon Blanc (Russian River Valley): Just not into this wine. Citrus and tropical fruits, but what’s w/ the toast?

As haiku:
`06 Sauvignon Republic Sauvignon Blanc (Russian River Valley):
why does toast surprise
the citrus, tropical fruits?

Climbing out of here.

And my personal favorite -

Original:
’06 Misterio Malbec (Argentina):
Coats yer palate like smokey black fruit tar. A steal at $7

haiku:
’06 Misterio Malbec (Argentina):
palate is soothed

smokey black fruit tar
wallet is still fat!

Classic! Read on for more excellent haiku versions. Thanks, WillyBouy!


’05 Bracco Chianti Classico (Italy):
bracco soprano

still struggles to find her voice
-
reduced, overpriced.

`06 Touraine Sauvignon La Pointe Domaine Ricard:
pink grapefruit grenade

launched from the valley loire

tingles the nose bright.

`05 La Crema Pinot Noir (Sonoma Coast, CA):
red berry hinting smoke
tasting great in the moment
is there a future?

’00 Ch. de Sales (Pomerol, Fr):
a mouse in the house
-
supple velvety red fruit
leaves no worries.

’06 Misterio Malbec (Argentina):
palate is soothed

smokey black fruit tar
wallet is still fat!

`04 Quintessa Cab (Rutherford, CA):
fruit as black as night
finishing suburb complex

lay your money down.

`05 Bon Cap Cab Sav (Robertson, SA):
softly the blind feel

red currants dance free
-
organic bliss now.

NV Perrier-Jouet Fleur de Chapagne (Epernay, Fr):
apple pear bubbles

burst in nose with toasty spice
-
heart leaping joyous!

`05 Le Premier Pas Domaine Le Pas de l’Escalette (Cot. du Languedoc):
grapes of the south Rhone
-
french red without the shackles
blend harmonious

`05 Banfi Centine (Tuscany, It):
burnt cherry sunrise

to sunset gently biting
-
economico rosso.

Ratzenberger Spatburgunder `04 (Bacharacher, DE):
alcohol pools a

slowly drifting berry boat

nicely delicate

`03 Savigny-les-Beaune “Le Grands-Liards” Patrick Javillier-Guyot (Meursalt):
leather greets nicely

but calls out for fruit hidden
-
prudence calls to me.

Aleveda Vinho Verde (Portugal):
drunk in the meadow

crispy spritzy citrus-y

pennies drop lightly.

Frog’s Leap `05 Napa Zin:
plum, blackberry yes

sweet toasted coconut hugs

vanilla oak, yum.

Opus One `98 (Oakville, CA):
a bad year undone
fruit, red and black, on oak

dear in all respects.

Twin Brook Cab. Franc (Pennsylvania):
wafting red berry
but tepid palate saddens
-
all hope is lost now.

`05 Rosso Piceno Tourquis Brunori (Marche, It):
sangiovese

joins montepulciano
kicking me to smile.

`04 Domaine André Bonhomme Viré-Clessé (Burgundy):
bourgeosie madam

proletariat nightspot
-
apricot, oak – class

NV Laurent-Perrier Grand Siècle (Champagne):
fresh baked almond bread
with honey triumphs – grace and strength

my spirits soaring.

’03 Castello Banfi Rosso di Montalcino (Italy):
pour, sniff, slurp – again

cherries and leather greet me

with a warm embrace.

’06 Lorenzino Ettore Germano Dolcetto d’Alba (Italy):
cherries, tobacco
sing out harmoniously
-
could be livelier.

`05 Ravenswood Old Vines Zin (CA):
berry and spice nice

for the right amount of dough

haiku cannot rhyme

Cheers!

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    Comments

  • phil w.


    Ha – Nice one. You should take a look at http://www.redwinehaiku.blogspot.com, it contains reviews that are very similar and are often really funny.

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