Wine Bullsh*t Bingo (and other tidbits)

Vinted on March 18, 2010 binned in about 1winedude blog, commentary

Here’s one for the “it’s NOT just me” department:

Remember last week, when I jokingly poked fun (or, as my friends in the U.K. would say, “took the piss out of”) the current state of California vintage reports?

Well, most of the people who left comments and contacted me via twitter, facebook, and e-mail took the piece light-heartedly (thankfully!), and one of those cool people – who happens to work in the PR side of the wine biz – sent me a tool used in wine marketing meetings that proves that I am not the only one who finds humor in the situation of writing vintage reports with serious spin on them.

I give you Wine Bulsh*t Bingo.  Just don’t read it while drinking coffee or sipping wine, because you’ll end up either doing a keyboard-destroying spit-take, or unintentionally snorting wine up your nose – because this stuff is scathingly, laugh-out-loud funny.  Many thanks to the wonderful person (name withheld for obvious reasons) who passed this one along to me!

In other news, Dale Cruse over at the very cool blog has been running a series in which he asks wine bloggers to contribute short pieces of fiction, in which Dale provides the writer with a (usually racy) picture involving wine to act as the starting point and general muse of the submitted work.  Dale waited, and waited, and waited, and waited very patiently for my submission, which is months overdue but was finally completed last week (sorry, buddy!).  The piece (which Dale titled “The Innocence Slips Away”) is (unsurprisingly) odd and quirky, and involves a corkscrew, a bottle of Barolo, half-naked Southerners, a Godzilla movie, and the liquor control board.  Enjoy!






  • Dan G The Iowa Wino

    I needed that laugh this morning. Nice story :)

    • 1WineDude


  • Richard Scholtz

    I read an article today about lease-up for retail space, saying how it's on an upswing. The headline reads 'Retail Leasing Activity Helps Offset Deluge of Vacant Junior Anchor Stores." At first glance, this would appear to be good news. However, the devil is in the details. After you get through all the real estate mumbo-jumbo about "accelerated growth" and "backfilling" you soon realize that the spaces are being leased at lower rates with less desirable tenants. Funny how couched language and misleading headlines can give a false sense of optimism. I find that in any real estate recovery article, it's best to skip the first half of the article, and read what the actual numbers are saying.

    This also dovetails into a saying we have around here. "If you want good economic news, go to your local Chamber of Commerce banquet. They never have bad news."

    • 1WineDude

      Uhmm… huh?!???

      • Richard Scholtz

        Sorry if I confused you.

        • 1WineDude

          Well, I am easily confused so it's ok :)

  • @suburbanwino

    I have a "buzzword bingo" I play in sales and marketing meetings. Phrases like "high level", "action item", "deliverables", "KISS: keep it simple stupid", "50,000 foot view", "supply chain", "metrics", "organic growth", "product champion", "loss leader", "channel partner", "paralysis by analysis", "value added", "return on investment", "share of market", "share of wallet", "share report", "reconvene", "circle the wagons" ….I can go on forever, and it's very easy to win.

    • 1WineDude

      HA! Used to do something similar in meetings with one of our directors…

  • vinogirl

    Great short story (what is going on inside your head?)

    • 1WineDude

      Thanks. You DO NOT want to know about the inner-workings of my mind! :)

  • Kimberly

    Hmmm, half-naked Southerners. . . .hope none of them were my relatives.

    I love Suburban Winos "buzzword bingo" up there. I worked in PR and advertising for a while, and heard some of those same phrases, many, many times. Would be fun to be in a marketing/sales meeting and make the principals drink a shot of Yellowtail Merlot everytime someone used one of those ridiculous phrases! Woohoo!

    • 1WineDude


  • EaglesNestWine

    You are toooooo talented for your own good ;-)

    • 1WineDude

      Thanks, but remember I didn't write that bingo!

  • Steve Heimoff

    I was incentivized to read this good to great post because, bottom line, it's not only a good value (being free), but is pretty full-bodied for the quality — although it is a little medium to heavy on the POS. In order to designate it "reserve" quality, I'd advise the author to lower the RS, raise the TA, and stir things up more, on the premise that the market place is under-allocated with luxury blogs.

    • 1WineDude

      Thanks, Steve – that's what, at least an 88 right? :-)

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