Has Anyone Ever Told You that You Look Exactly Like… a Drunk? (Dispatch from a Wine Tasting Room)

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I’m guessing that most of you out there have probably been to a wine tasting room in a winery before, and went there to sample that winery’s wines.

Which means that the same number of you have probably encountered at least one severely drunken patron acting in a totally obnoxious way.

Which also means that the same number of you understand the phrase “suppressed the urge to do bodily harm.”

Now, I am fully aware that wine tasting room etiquette is not a novel topic, and has been covered before by several sources, including wineries themselves. Most of these sources talk about how to prepare yourself for a tasting room visit (no perfume, chewing gum, etc.) and how to taste the wine while you’re there (swirl, sniff, sip, savor, etc.).

They don’t tend to touch on what I’m about to lay down about wine tasting room etiquette, however.

Knowing me, it will come off as a bit of a rant, but it’s not meant to be a rant (and it’s not directed at you, dear reader – it’s directed at the small minority of wine tasting room visitors who just still don’t seem to “get it”).

And it’s a simple plea, really…

If you plan to get totally hammered on wine, and you happen to also be an obnoxious drunk, please don’t go to a winery tasting room.

By providing a tasting room, a winery is primarily trying to teach you about – and to sell you – their wine. They are not providing a place for you to drink yourself stupid, get loud, and ignore the winery staff. There are places where you can do that (within reason) – they’re called bars.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t plan to have a great time when visiting a winery tasting room, and I’m not even saying that you should stay sober when you visit a winery tasting room (assuming you have arranged transportation, of course).

I’m just saying that you need to stay sober enough – enough to retain adequate coherence so that you can take advantage of the winery staff’s knowledge, ask them questions and engage them in conversation about their wines, and remain civil and reasonably polite to your fellow patrons.

I am saying that if you plan to get smashed and act in any way that you want when you hop on a winery tasting tour or visit a winery tasting room, then you need to stay home instead – because you’re not respecting the wine, the winery, or the the winery’s patrons.