Special Report from the Inebriated Press
Pennsylvania Governor-elect Tom Corbett today issued a public plea to the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board to “immediately and indefinitely suspend” its plans to expand grocery store installations statewide of its new wine kiosk dispensers. Corbett wants all activity on the PLCB kiosk machines shut down “until allegations of the kiosks are abducting grocery store shoppers can be properly and thoroughly investigated.”
Corbett’s plea was prompted by several recent reports of missing persons last seen at three Pennsylvania grocery store locations where PLCB wine kiosks have been installed. At first, state police investigations of the alleged abductions were moving slowly, but recent eyewitness reports from the grocery stores involved have turned the tide of the investigations towards the bizarre.
“I know what I saw, and I know it sounds crazy… but strange blue laser beams came out of that thing and totally vaporized the guy trying to buy wine!” reads one anonymous eyewitness testimony describing events that happened to one of the missing persons, who was last seen purchasing wine from a PLCB kiosk…
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Ok, technically they were wines from last week. So sue me.
[Editor’s note: please do NOT actually sue me.]
Last week, I had another run-in with those tiny T.A.S.T.E. 50ml bottles, taking part in an on-line UStream live tasting with winemaker Paul Dolan, going through the majority of his portfolio. Paul has the advantage of exuding a calm and commanding presence even over a tiny video window (I credit his kick-ass mustache), and he also happens to make some compelling wines.
Those wines happen to be made from biodynamic grapes, which is a veritable conversation powder-keg when thrown into any gathering of two or more wine lovers these days. And we all know what I think about BioD, which is that I don’t know what to think about it yet.
I’ll admit, whenever Paul got to talking about BioD during the tasting, I found myself wondering if I should go looking for some weed and a bong to put my mind in the proper perspective, you know, to really understand what he was on about, man!
The BioD conversation did yield this fantastic tweet during our tasting, though:
[email protected]: Some call it voodoo, we like to call Biodynamics Moo-Do.”
That is just sooooo good…
Anyway, while I found the whites a bit to rough-around-the-edges, the reds from Paul Dolan for the most part were very, very good, and in at lest one case offered what I felt was a downright amazing bargain…
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What can I say, the ladies dig cartoon versions of bloggers, okay?
In all seriousness, I wanted a cleaner, more open, more inviting, bit more up-to-date and, dare-I-say professional design for 1WineDude.com, and the result is what you see before you. Unless you’re reading via your RSS reader in which case I have a special message for you*.
* – Get yer ass over to the site for once!
The good news is that the world is no longer subjected to my photo in the blog header, which has been replaced by the cartoon dude. Toon Dude has more hair than I do (and it should be a bit more gray, now that I think about it) but believe it or not he is the ugly-ized version (I told the designer to take the first draft, which looked like Brad Pitt, and put him into a cartoon bar fight, so that the results would more accurately reflect my real looks, which are decidedly NOT Brad-Pitt-ish).
A huge shout-out to JudithShakes Designs for the stellar work and the painless upgrade, which went so smoothly that I was actually responding to blog comments uninterrupted while the site was being changed. In case you were wondering, I got turned onto JudithShakes after seeing that they did the work on the recent update to www.redheadwriting.com (a worthwhile read on any day, though not at all wine-related); you will notice that RHR’s site looks nothing like this one, but that was entirely the point and JSD really nailed this design from a personality standpoint for me and I’m thrilled with the results (and begrudgingly accepting of the fact that Toon Dude Mark II is uglier but more appropriate for repreenting me to the global interwebs than Toon Dude Mark I, may he rest in peace).
Anyway, as always your comments on the new design are welcome (go easy on Toon Dude, please).