Posts Filed Under commentary
Here’s one for the “it’s NOT just me” department:
Remember last week, when I jokingly poked fun (or, as my friends in the U.K. would say, “took the piss out of”) the current state of California vintage reports?
Well, most of the people who left comments and contacted me via twitter, facebook, and e-mail took the piece light-heartedly (thankfully!), and one of those cool people – who happens to work in the PR side of the wine biz – sent me a tool used in wine marketing meetings that proves that I am not the only one who finds humor in the situation of writing vintage reports with serious spin on them.
I give you Wine Bulsh*t Bingo. Just don’t read it while drinking coffee or sipping wine, because you’ll end up either doing a keyboard-destroying spit-take, or unintentionally snorting wine up your nose – because this stuff is scathingly, laugh-out-loud funny. Many thanks to the wonderful person (name withheld for obvious reasons) who passed this one along to me!
In other news, Dale Cruse over at the very cool DrinksAreOnMe.net blog has been running a series in which he asks wine bloggers to contribute short pieces of fiction, in which Dale provides the writer with a (usually racy) picture involving wine to act as the starting point and general muse of the submitted work. Dale waited, and waited, and waited, and waited very patiently for my submission, which is months overdue but was finally completed last week (sorry, buddy!). The piece (which Dale titled “The Innocence Slips Away”) is (unsurprisingly) odd and quirky, and involves a corkscrew, a bottle of Barolo, half-naked Southerners, a Godzilla movie, and the liquor control board. Enjoy!
I have a theory.
And it’s one that I hope will be proven totally false.
My theory is that the economy will get better, and it will rebound to more solid ground relatively soon-ish (within two years).
That’s not the part that I hope is proven false, by the way. I’m getting to that. So let me finish, okay? Geez! You always do that!
Anyway, the part that I hope is proven false is that the economic turnaround will result in fewer people blogging about wine.
Because I think that the steady stream of wine samples being sent to many bloggers will, once the economic picture gains a decidedly more rosy tint, dry up.
Not all bloggers will see the sample pool evaporate, but many of them will.
Like I said – I hope I’m wrong. But I’ve got a sneaking suspicion… an elusive, vague and chilling notion… the Spider-Sense is definitely tingling over this possibility…
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I get my fair share of wine samples, with a large proportion coming from California. This is due mostly to proximity (regional wines), as well as the fact that the CA makes the vast majority of U.S. wine, hence the large number of CA samples stopping on my doorstep.
Most of those CA samples come with some form of wine information / tech sheets, and when they do, those tech sheets almost invariably contain a vintage report.
An utterly useless vintage report.
The vintage report is often utterly useless because no one ever says anything except that the grapes ended the vintage with optimal ripeness.
It’s become a joke for me, a game almost, to see if any of these press release vintage reports would ever admit that the grapes absolutely fried on the vine this year, or that they ended up greener than an under-ripe banana. It will probably never happen.
So I decided to do CA wine PR folks a favor, and I’ve created a template below that can freely be used as the vintage report for any CA wine! I’ve taken some minor liberties, primarily to make the choices sexier, because let’s face it, sex sells even when it comes to vintage reports. If you’re in PR, you can simply circle the appropriate response and not have to bother with the rest! Anyway, you can thank me later!…
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